Its been a while….

I have been so busy with lots of things lately. My to-do-list is chasing me. Essays to do are all piled up on my desk. Cleaning. Laundry. Shopping. Everything!

I have been invited to a number of night outs/parties recently but I have, maybe need to say “I can’t, maybe next time”. I am trying to isolate myself from things which I know will make me happy. It’s sad. I am sad.

It was a dreadful night last night. I couldn’t try and get myself to sleep. My mind was way too pre-occupied with things. And worst, a friend rang me and told me the saddest news of all. It’s probably the last thing I would ever want to hear. I was completely torn apart, I can still feel the pain until now. I couldn’t do anything. I cried, the best thing I can do for myself was to let it all out. My eyes were wide open until 7 in the morning. I wasnt’t able to go to my lectures, which was at 9. I stayed in my bed all day. Thinking of how and why this is happening.

It’s been a while. It’s been a while since I’ve spoken to him. I feel like I am so un-attached to him. Not letting him inside me. Not even talking to him at all. Not thanking him for all these. Not even saying “Hi” or “Hello”. It’s not me. This is not me. Everything is all over the place. I don’t know. I really don’t know…. I am confused..

I didnt realized until now, that I am STILL sitting under a huge question mark…..

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