November10
I am really not liking the way I organized my timetable to fit all the things that I need to do. I am annoyed with how I manage things. And I am absolutely hating the WORKLOADS. In short – I am not happy -
Most people tell me to enjoy my first year in University because when I get to 2nd and worst 3rd year of this course, I will not be able to enjoy much of myself as the workloads will be doubled or even tripled. But I wonder how other Freshers like me are feeling? Are they loving their first year? Are they all stressed out with all the Uni works? Do they attend or missed lectures and tutorials? Are they meeting all their deadlines? Do they like or even love the nightlife? Well…. I asked myself all these questions last night and I don’t even know the answer…=p
I pitty myself for not making the most of this University life thinggy (so far). I am not (yet) 100% motivated. There are a lot of things going on behind my back that I still need to sort out. Even more things ahead of me to be aware at. Everytime I intentionally don’t do Uni work, I just always tell myself “It’s fine, YOU need time”. Worst is, I keep telling that to myself EVERY SINGLE DAY. And now what?? I have all these work piled up on my desk -yet again-. I know that I won’t go anywhere if I don’t motivate myself. I NEED TO FOCUS, FOCUS, FOCUS and I NEED PURE CONCENTRATION, MOTIVATION and ENTHUSIASM.
November2
It’s good to be back home, not in the Philippines where I grew up but here in Wales where I’ve been living for almost 4 years now. I have to say, I was well so excited when I got off the train. My Daddy picked me up down the train station. It felt like I’ve been gone for a really long time and no words can explain how happy I was when I saw our house. I was shouting and screaming and jumping and dancing around the house.
I thought at first that it’s probably not a very good idea to go home when I have all this UNI assignments and essays that I need to do, but when homesickness really strikes you just wouldn’t bother at all about doing them. “I am definitely going home” I told my friend when I had my train tickets safely kept inside my purse. We couldn’t stop screaming while talking with each other over the phone. We were totally excited about seeing each other again. All my friends rang me to asked me about it and I told them all that I am going home and will be celebrating Halloween with them.
I had the most amazing night last Friday. We all went down Sherryl’s house and dressed up ready to go down town. We didn’t bother buying our costume for the halloween so we just decided to do our make-up ourselves. I wanted to look scary. 
And indeed I was
At the same day was Sherryl’s 20th birthday. It was hell of a night and we were all drunk and totally wrecked, especially me. 
I am so glad, I have my friend ALVIN who took care of me that night. Thanks Al! =)
The original plan was to stay down the pub til 5am but we had to go at 3. (Don’t ask why). It was the best Halloween ever.=) It’s a good thing to get really drunk and to just dance all your sorrows and pains away.
Tomorrow I am going back to Leicester and will definitely be working my arse off. I will probably go back to Wales every month or week or best to just stay here with my friends and family.
Below are some photos from last Friday night. 
October24
Its been a while….
I have been so busy with lots of things lately. My to-do-list is chasing me. Essays to do are all piled up on my desk. Cleaning. Laundry. Shopping. Everything!
I have been invited to a number of night outs/parties recently but I have, maybe need to say “I can’t, maybe next time”. I am trying to isolate myself from things which I know will make me happy. It’s sad. I am sad.
It was a dreadful night last night. I couldn’t try and get myself to sleep. My mind was way too pre-occupied with things. And worst, a friend rang me and told me the saddest news of all. It’s probably the last thing I would ever want to hear. I was completely torn apart, I can still feel the pain until now. I couldn’t do anything. I cried, the best thing I can do for myself was to let it all out. My eyes were wide open until 7 in the morning. I wasnt’t able to go to my lectures, which was at 9. I stayed in my bed all day. Thinking of how and why this is happening.
It’s been a while. It’s been a while since I’ve spoken to him. I feel like I am so un-attached to him. Not letting him inside me. Not even talking to him at all. Not thanking him for all these. Not even saying “Hi” or “Hello”. It’s not me. This is not me. Everything is all over the place. I don’t know. I really don’t know…. I am confused..
I didnt realized until now, that I am STILL sitting under a huge question mark…..
, I asked her “what do you mean BHANGRA?!” (OMG. This is going to be a nightmare). It is just because I haven’t been to a bar that play’s BHANGRA music. It’s always Techno and RNB but I prefer the latter. Then I asked her to play a BHANGRA music. Not with so much surprise, I knew that it is more like Indian music type of thing BUT unknown by me, with a mix of RNB beat. I asked her if she could understand the words (She is an Asian-Indian btw) and she said “Kind of, but you don’t have to listen to the lyrics, you just got to dance with the beat. 
